The Amazing Foxfire
The Cosmic Carnival Inside, the Cosmic Carnival is full to bursting as aliens from all across the galaxy mingle in the halls. Most of the aliens are Transformer-sized, leaving any humans feeling a bit small. There are plenty of exhibits, from rare space antiques to animals caged in special laser-cages. The highlight of the carnival however is the Great Ring. Easily several miles across, it is surrounded by millions of seats. This arena is where the greatest acts of the Carnival take place. Come one, come all to the COSMIC CARNIVAL! The most magical place in the galaxy! The entire place is literally thronging with all types of intelligent alien life, attempting to peek at the exhibits, or make their way to the great ring. A giant Gilashark roars and paws at its energy cage, electing gasps of excitement from the crowd. And above the mass of people hangs a big sign. "IN THE ARENA: THE AMAZING SPACE FOX!" Grimlock is here! He's...a bit hard to miss. Thankfully, he's just in robot mode right now. He grunts a little at the giant gila creature- and then glances up, noting that big blinking sign. "Me Grimlock think this where him Foxfire is. Me Grimlock great detective!" If Foxfire had fur, he would be bristling. He keeps telling everyone that he's *not* the space fox, but no one is listening! So here he is, being forced to get ready for an act he's never even tried before. He just hopes they really don't make him balance a tiny black hole on his nose. Redshift, here for a little R&R, strolls around the futuristic carnival grounds. He seems to be looking for something, despite his casual gait. The call to see the nigh-mythical Space Fox grabs his attention, and he saunters his way close to see the famous space fox in action. Red Alert peers up at the sign, then up at Grimlock. His lips pull back into a grim smile. "Yes, Grimlock, very good. Now come on and let's head to the Arena before the act begins. We've got to try to talk these people out of this lunacy!" "FOCUS Redshift!" cries Blueshift, a mass of Venusian candy-floss stuck to his face. "We are on a mission. YOU must find the creature named Berko to collect the 10,000 Quatloo reward, AND you must get the autograph of the Rocket Rider from Rupert or whatever his name is. I meanwhile will scout out the amusements!" Monstereo deplanes from a Junkion ship, the Imperial "Arrr" Destroyer to be precise, along with hoardes of other junkions here to see the show. Unlike them, however, Monstereo is here on business. Foxfire business. As he makes his way into the compound, however, his optics are drawn towards all the caged animals on exhibit. He is drawn towards the current loudest one of all, the Gilashark cage. The Junkion 'casually' makes his way through the crowd watching it to the edge of the barrier and leans in. He attempts some communication using both body posture and analysed vocal processing from the creature. Grimlock pshs at Red Alert. "Hnf. You hurry up and do talkings fast so me Grimlock can smash them faces when they no listen." Grimlock rumbles as he tromps through the crowd. He may be young, and he may not be the...subtlest of thinkers, but Grimlock certainly knows how this sort of thing works out! Then again, these sort of things usually end in fire and violence BECAUSE he's present, but that's another matter entirely. Drums start up in the main arena as people start moving to their seats. Rorza, the Rocket-cycle Racer from Rigel III looks down at the scared little Foxfire. "Come on Flash, don't tell me you've got the nerves. I hope you've been keeping your knife=throwing skills sharp whilst you were on the run!" He laughs, revving up his motorcycle a bit. The Gilashark roars at Monstereo angrily. A Meccanibal family saunter up to the Junkion, the little kid pointing at him. "Mummy-unit, I want THAT one!" Foxfire stares at Rorza, and points a forepaw at him, almost accusingly. "For the last time, I am NOT Flash! My name is Foxfire!" Redshift gives Blueshift a suspicious glance. "Why didn't you get the money while you were handing in the /fox/? It seems a bit late now to be looking for the reward!" He glances around nervously, and continues in a hushed tone, muttering to Blueshift. Redshift whispers "You should have took the money and ran! What if they find out about the bloody fox before we get the money?" "Hey hey HEY! Tell EXCISE that, not me!" Blueshift waves the candyfloss accusingly. "I can't be everywhere, can I! Go find this Berko Red, I'll..." He pauses, face paling. "I'll stop those Autobots from blowing the lid on this scam!" "Right, right," grumbles Red Alert, pushing his way through the crowd, although he pauses a moment when the Junkion catches his attention. If Monstereo looks towards him he nods a greeting, then jerks his head towards the cage where they're keeping Foxfire. He continues on, and as he approaches them, says loudly to Rorza, "He's telling the truth. That isn't your Space Fox, that's an Autobot." Talazia Keldahoff is walking along with Monstereo....or on his shoulder. Monstereo tends to make things fun as of late....and the Junkion was good to her at a past concert....so she was going to repay the favor. Rorza, the Rocket-cycle Racer from Rigel III folds his mighty arms and stares down at Red Alert. "Move it! Get to your seats, the show's about to start. THEN we'll see if this is Flash or not." Foxfire sighs. "At this rate, you'll only realize the truth when I get sucked into a black hole." As Rorza speaks, a little yellow car screeches into the arena. From one of the big doors runs dozens and dozens of clowns, all big and alien. They start piling into the little car one after another, with no end in sight. Someone in the audience sighs. "Eh, subspace. Seen it before" Red Alert crosses his own arms and stares /up/ at Rorza. "We don't need to! He's wearing an Autobot symbol! Besides," then he looks down at Foxfire, "Transform, Foxfi-" then he spins towards Blueshift. "Blast it! Decepticons!" he exclaims. Grimlock ooohs, and stomps up behind Red Alert towards Foxfire's cage. "Me Grimlock say just cuz OUR fox-guy look like YOU fox-guy, it no mean it same thing! Me Grimlock saw movie tape of REAL space fox guy. Me think him am lots smarterer than us fox guy. Him Foxfire just sing stupid song." Monstereo nods to the Gilashark and ponders for a second while looking to Talazia and fishing into his subspace pocket. "Not a happy camper, Tal." He 'speaks' to the Gilashark again, "I'll see what I can do to bust you out sometime. Right now I'm here to bust out someone else though. Have a nice day." Yeah, that loosely translated. He shoves a spare Junkion hand to the adorable little Meccanibal kid. *ewww* "Eat your vegetables." And he walks away, cool as ice towards the main attraction area to do business. "I always wanted to run away to the circus, let's hope we don't have to run away from this one." He snags some form of popcorn from a snack vendor, tossing credits to them, and hands the snack to Talazia. Blueshift flops down in his designated arena seat, munching on some energ-Os as he reads the programme. "Redshift!" he shouts excitedly. "Hey, Redshift. They've got a KING!" Foxfire prepares to transform, then stops and blinks at Grimlock's comments. "Hey...!" he protests. Redshift wonders just what this suppossed 'Berko' looks like... And of course, if he's the head honcho, he's not likely to be loitering around with the rubes and the carnies. Hmm. Talazia Keldahoff takes said snacks and munches. "Fanks, Monfereo!" she says with her mouth full as she looks around a bit more. "hopefully we'll find Foxfire before the black hole incident. or better.....we can hand it to a decepticon." Red Alert covers his face with his hand as Foxfire stops doing what he needs to do to prove his identity in order to yell at Grimlock. "Foxfire, just transform!" he exclaims, exasperated. Foxfire got distracted! "Oh, right." He transforms, and just lays there. Almost completely silent, the small saboteur Foxfire shifts into his tape mode. "Flash can sing too" booms Rorza, the Rocket-cycle Racer from Rigel III, who then tuts at Red Alert. "Yeah. I got Autobot badges too, see." He pulls back his metallic jacket to reveal dozens of tattered and oily Autobot badges ripped from armour. "'Sides, its not my call. Berko deals with the talent here, speak to him." Rorza's words are nearly cut off as the clowns finish piling into the car which putters away, and a loud trumpeting noise blasts over the audience. "And now, the one, the ONLY, the COSMIC CARNIVAL! And here's your host, MIIIIIIIIIISTER BIG TOP!" A huge slug-like alien descends on a platform into the ring, wearing a top hat. He starts to throw sweets into the audience. Including at Red Alert's head. <'Decepticon> Blueshift says, "Come on Redshift, you're going to miss the KING" <'Decepticon'> Redshift says, "I don't care about the KING, dolt" <'Decepticon'> Blueshift says, "Sort out the money Redshift. I can't talk to these circus guys, it feels... wrong somehow." Grimlock growls a little bit at Rorza, the Rocket-Cycle Racer from Rigel III, as he flashes those badges. "Hnnn. Where you get those?" he asks, taking a step forward, flexing his hands into fists. "'cuz me Grimlock no think you LOOK like Autobot." <'Autobot'> Coaster XO Raindance says, "Guys, whilst you're at the circus, get me Rorza, the Rocket-cycle Racer from Rigel III's autograph!" <'Autobot'> Coaster XO Raindance says, "Also can someone get me the autograph of Flash the Space Fox?" Redshift seems to have gotten an idea, you can almost see the light go on over his head. Time to throw a wrench into the Autobot's plan, it seems, as Foxfire has transformed into his tiny cassette mode. "OH NO! Those dastardly robots are trying to KIDNAP Flash the Space Fox!" <'Autobot'> Saboteur Foxfire says, "I am not Flash!" Red Alert is hit in the head by a sweet! "Ow!" he exclaims, irritated. He looks up at Grimlock and says, "Grimlock, don't let them try to make Foxfire do anything dangerous. And if they do, /punch/ them." Hopefully the fact that Red Alert is asking Grimlock to hurt people will mitigate the fact that Red Alert is asking Grimlock to Do Stuff. "I'll go look for this 'Berko' character." With that, he tilts his head, listening closely for where Berko might be. This means he hears Redshift, of course. "What? /No/!" Red Alert mutters to Grimlock, "Feel free... of people who... smashing,..." Rorza, the Rocket-cycle Racer from Rigel III folds his arms angrily as he looks at the Autobots. "Oh ARE they? From a rival carnival I'll bet. And you, Flash!" He points down at the small cassette tape. "Stop turning into things you're not. Berko!" Rorza steps back as what looks like a bald human in a purple jumpsuit hops into view. "All right, all right!" he mutters, looking over at the Transformers. "Right, you're the robots who found Flash, yes? You all look the same to me. The boss will pay you after the show, he wants to make sure Flash can still perform." In the background, Mr Big Top has introduced the next act, the KING. The King is a king, who steps into the arena with a crown and sceptre, stroking his beard majestically <'Decepticon'> Blueshift says, "Oh Primus, he's got a CROWN" <'Decepticon'> Blueshift says, "This is AMAZING" <'Decepticon'> Redshift says, "you're an idiot." Platinum Cassette rattles slightly, then transforms back into Foxfire. "Well, so much for *that*," he mutters. He perks his ears forward at Redshift's voice, and a snarl crosses his muzzle. "The only ones guilty of kidnapping are you Decepticons!" Foxfire transforms from his cassette mode to his fox form. "Yay! Me Grimlock punch EVERYBODY!" the Autobot decrees. He glances down at Berko, and scratches his head. "Uuuuuh. Maybe?" he asks, "Me Grimlock-" but then, there's a pause as he looks over to the ring. "-KING!" he concludes, "Me Grimlock KING! Him guy no king!" he points, he does, "Him weak!" ...What did the Autobots come here fore again? Talazia Keldahoff keeps looking around a bit, seeing if she can spot Foxfire. No dice however. She then blinks at Grimlock's outburst. "he's playing at being a king, Grimlock. We all know you're the king of everything worth doing." In the ring, the King has taken out a scroll and is issuing royal decrees, waving his sceptre. Oddly, the alien audience are lapping it up, with cries of "MORE MORE!" Blueshift has his feet on the chair (and head of the alien) in front of him, munching on his snacks as he shouts at Grimlock. "Hey, shut up, I'm watching the KING!" Redshift tries his best to looked shocked. Shocked, I say! "The Decepticons have graciously RETURNED you, the star attraction of this fine carnival to it's rightful home, silly fox!" He says, and points a finger accusingly at the autobots. "These /Autobots/ have clearly been BRAINWASHING the poor Flash, deluding him into thinking he is really /one of them/. Poor, poor Flash, falling victen to a sleazy Autobot trick." Foxfire continues to protest, "I am NOT Flash! I'm an Autobot! Those Decepticons *kidnapped* me!" <'Decepticon'> Blueshift says, "I think... I think he WAVED at me!" Grimlock also notes: "Yeah. Him Flash run faster and have red pajamas!" Foxfire just gives Grimlock a puzzled look. Berko nods slowly at Redshift's story. "Yeah, I heard of those Autorobots back home. Are they still lead by that Octopus Prime?" He looks down at Foxfire, moving to ruffle his head. "Oh poor Flash, they've done a number on you. Well, we'll see soon enough if you still have it in you!" When Berko shows up and mistakes the Autobots for the robots that returned Foxfire, Red Alert gets a crafty look. "Yes, that's right, we're the robots who returned the Fox. Or rather, we work with them. The problem is, we figured out after they turned them in that we gave you the WRONG SPACE FOX! Why, naturally, we were horrified, since only Flash can do the sorts of tricks he's known for, and we wouldn't want to besmerch our 'good' name by accidently cheating you, so we came to warn you that that's not the right Space Fox, but a defective, sub-par Space Fox. We'll be happy to take him off your hands and put him to sleep, then get back to looking for the real Space Fox!" Monstereo approaches the gathering of friend and foe alike around the captive Foxfire and sets Talazia down gently so she is free to move about as she pleases. "Hmm..." He listens and chin-rubs sagely. "They have even BRANDED Flash with thier blood-red mark of ownership!" Redshift continues, trying to br heardabove the din of the King-loving crowd. "Do not worry, for I, Redshift, the speediest robot in the galaxy, shall protect you from further SLANDER by these Autobots." He turns on Red Alert. "RED ALERT! Stop your LIES or I will be forced to remove you from the carnival. This is CLEARLY Flash, the famous space fox, and you have BRAINWASHED him!" Foxfire is fought over. Who'd've thought. Redshift just wants the money. Red Alert mutters to Foxfire, "Don't... explosives?" The King finishes his act, and is taken away on a horse-drawn carriage. "AND NOW!" Mr Big Top announces with a wave of his tentacle. "Rorza, the Rocket-cycle Racer from Rigel III will perform his most dangerous stunt yet - leaping over TWENTY baby universes!" Rorza rides into the ring on his huge space bike. In front of him is a ramp, and a line of twenty baby universes, in their containment fields except for the top, which is open to terrifying gravimetric pressure. The crowd goes NUTS as Rorza blasts over the ramp, leaping over the universes and pulling a wheelie, and then throwing a bag of Quatloos towards a group of orphans sitting in the front row. What a guy! Grimlock grunts a little as Redshift speaks up- and Grimlock sights in on the important bit: a threat! Thoughts of kings and foxes forgotten, Grimlock snaps his left hand up with the speed of a gunslinger, and with a *KA-CHUNK!*, he employs his Galaxial Rocket Launcher as a poking instrument to Redshift's forehead. *poik!* "Whut you say?" "Grimlock, remember that there are bystanders around!" Red Alert exclaims, exasperated. "Stick to /punchings/ and /bitings/, not rockets! I thought you Dinobots liked punching and biting!" Monstereo steps forward and starts talking like Johnny Carson. "Wow, this is some weird wild stuff. Ah. Might I... might I make a suggestion? Ah, ooh, ah, since we're at an impass, oh, ah, maybe we should settle this the old fashioned way, the traditional carnival way. I propose... a Show-Off. Greatest show wins our Foxy-Friend here as prized performer." Talazia Keldahoff is set down and starts walking around the gathering....until she's darned near right next to Foxfire. "what fun huh, Foxy?" Berko sucks his teeth in as he listens to both the stories, and looks down at Foxfire. "I guess..." he starts. "Maybe..." He pulls on his collar a bit as he hears the crowd go wild. "Look, guys, settle down. This might be Flash, this might not be Flash, but right now, we have a ring of millions of very big, very excitable aliens here. Who would be VERY angry if the star performer didn't perform." "Somehow, Flash HAS to perform his act, or we're not getting out of here alive!" Grimlock glances down at Red Alert. "Me Grimlock like shooting too! Me Grimlock like all sorts of ways of breakin' stuff." Incidentally, his gun's still pointed at Redshift as he says this. Foxfire mutters to Red Alert, "... do.... me to... blowing the..." Red Alert mutters to Foxfire, "... can... a low yield... Remember,..." Redshift looks nervously at Grimlock's imposing galaxia rocket launcher(he's been shot by it before, I think) and is glad Red Alert is telling the Dinobot to stand down. He offers Berko an imploring look. "See how violent these Autorobots can be? But yes, we wouldn't want to interfere with your wonderful carnival show, after all, the show must go on! I just hope the vile Autorobot /brainwashing/ doesn't interfere with Flash's performance." Foxfire mutters to Red Alert, "That... main... do." Powerglide has arrived. Red Alert scowls and is about to say something, then his optics flicker in a blink of realization. He blinks a second time, then a third time. Red Alert leans in towards BERKO, who, through animation error, suddenly looks strangely like Blueshift, and makes a proposal, He mutters to Blueshift, "... any way... /not/ actually... the... Foxfire... to /look/... doing... goes... we... you... get... to..." You sense Red Alert leans in towards BERKO, who, through animation error, suddenly looks strangely like Blueshift, and makes a proposal, "Is there any way you can put on the act, but /not/ actually give him the black hole? Foxfire can generate holograms. He can use one of those to /look/ like he's doing the act, the show goes on, it ends, we leave, and you guys can get back to finding the real Flash." "Holy cow! I /love/ the carnival!" Powerglide hollers from seemingly nowhere. Stuffed under his arms is a variety of crap; overstuffed animals splitting at the seams, leaking bags of goldfish, and what appears to be a horrific combination of cotton candy and mold. Eventually Powerglide comes upon the current scene and he pauses. "....Uh...Did I miss a report or somethin'?" In the background, Rorza, the Rocket-cycle Racer from Rigel III leaps his cycle over pure antimatter whilst simultaniously performing calculations to end world poverty on the planet Galactron IV. Another cheer erupts. Mr Big Top tips his hat to Rorza. "Well done Rorza, Galactron IV will be thankful! And now, ladies, gentlemen and neuters, our star attraction. The one, the only, FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH THE SPAAAAAAAAAAACE FOX!" The spotlight suddenly falls on Foxfire, who some attendants start to try to shoo toward the middle of the ring. "Mr Big Top winks a sluggy eye at the audience. "What AMAZING WONDERS does Flash have for us today!" Grimlock pauses- distracted from killing Redshift by Berko. He hmmms, and then looks out over the stands. "Hn. Millions?" Grimlock asks...a bit...contemplatively. He...might not be able to fight all million aliens. At once. Maybe. "Me Grimlock think him Foxfire go do show." he says, and then lowers his gun. "Then us get him back or something!" At Red Alert's words, Berko tugs at his collar. "You can't CHEAT!" he gasps, and then shuts up. "I guess..." he mutters. "Maybe. Maybe..." Red Alert continues to mutters to BERKO, He mutters to Blueshift, "... out of..." You sense Red Alert continues to mutters to BERKO, "Would you rather an out of control mini-Blackhole in your arena?" <'Autobot'> Red Alert says, "Here's the idea. Foxfire, you're putting on the act. Use your holograms to fake it. If... I can't talk this guy into not giving you the actual black hole, the rest of us will see about stashing it somewhere. Then when it's all over, we grab you and leave. Make sense?" Berko shakes his head sadly at Red Alert. "You have no sense of Carnie ethics. But I'll see what I can do!" And with that, he runs off. But not before winking at Talazia and making a 'click click' noise. <'Autobot'> Grimlock says, "What part of plan is when me Grimlock break stuff?" <'Autobot'> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Yeah...sure...uh, I'm gonna try to fake my way through the rest of this..." <'Autobot'> Grimlock says, "'cuz that me Grimlock favorite part." <'Autobot'> Powerglide says, "What the hell is going on?" <'Autobot'> Red Alert says, "Any part that the Decepticons interferre with, Grimlock." Talazia Keldahoff is winked at, but then she looks at Red Alert, and cussing him out with her glare. <'Autobot'> Red Alert says, "The Decepticons kidnapped Foxfire and sold him to the Space Carnival." Foxfire facepaws. "Aw, great. It's Powerglide. He'll never let me hear the end of this..." He sighs, and prepares his hologram systems for his "act", attempting to ignore Powerglide's presence. He is then ushered toward the ring, with his ears pinned back and everything. He looks less than enthused. "Um..." He opens his chest plate and reaches inside, revealing his tape spool, and sets it to start playing a recorded song. The song in question is Never Gonna Give You Up, karaoke version. Which he sings to. Because apparently that's what fox tapes practice in their spare time. <'Decepticon'> Blueshift says, "Oh Primus I just got Rickrolled" Redshift is a bit nervous now, since there's no way to possibly swindle Berko out of the reward money until after the show... He glances around for an exit, since he might need one in a hurry. For now, he watches Foxfire's attempt to bore the audience with poor karaoke. Red Alert is being cursed out by someone's EYES. How does that even work, anyway? <'Decepticon'> Ramjet says, "Who dares!" Monstereo hmms, the call for the challenge ignored. "Well, that could have been fun. Suit yourselves..." He then quietly slips away back towards the caged-animals part of the grounds to do some good business. He strolls as his hand disappears and is replaced by a sonic screwdriver. He approaches the Gilasharks cage first, going around back while the majority of the park attention is at the performance. He grunts, He disables the cage's systems, the bars disappear. "Well, this is all very exciting, but I came here for more than trying to hook up with random carnie women," Powerglide huffs, strutting past the group. "I came to see a robot fox do stupid things." He dumps all his crap onto a random passerby, "Here, hold this for me. Like I was saying, I'm here to see-" Powerglide looks over at the ring and stops dead in his tracks. For about five seconds. He erupts into laughter. <'Decepticon'> Blueshift says, "Flash the Space Fox!" <'Decepticon'> Ramjet says, "That black hole-balancing fop!" The audience all falls completely silent at the fox-rolling, and then a nervous scattered applause ripples out. Mr Big Top himself stares dumbstruck before regaining his wits. "Ah yes, Flash, ever being META and witty! And now, Flash will need a VOLUNTEER from the audience!" Foxfire is laughed at. He is going to bite Powerglide later. :( "Me Grimlock think that joke like twenty years old." <'Decepticon'> Ramjet says, "Blueshift, have you extracted payment yet?" Red Alert transforms into vehicle mode so that he's IN DISGUISE. It also means that he gets to use his radar, which might make it a bit easier to find any black holes around. See, radars work by bouncing radio waves off of things and figuring out the distance from that. Black holes suck down radio waves (among other things). If there's an area where he gets no returns at all, not even the opposite wall, that's the first place to look. Hopefully, no one will suspect that this classing Lamborghini painted like a Fire Chief's Car in the middle of a space station is actually an AUTOBOT. Red Alert transforms into his Fire Chief's Car mode. <'Decepticon'> Blueshift says, "What, no, that's Redshift's job" <'Decepticon'> Ramjet says, "Redshift! Have you been paid for your sale of that accursed balancing battroid?" <'Decepticon'> Redshift says, "I have nothing to do with this whole mess." <'Decepticon'> Ramjet says, "This is a disaster." <'Decepticon'> Ramjet says, "We must deploy the LAWYERCON at once! Swindle, TRANSFORM and BROKER A DEAL." <'Decepticon'> Redshift says, "You let Blueshift handle it, so yeah, it's a disaster." Talazia Keldahoff climbs back onto Monstereo's shoulder and remains there. better view from this height. <'Decepticon'> Swindle says, "No. Money down!" <'Decepticon'> Ramjet says, "Don't get overcharged with /me/, Redshift. Beyond what a certain, paranoidacon alleges, I am not showing Blueshift an inordinate amount of favor." <'Decepticon'> Sixshot says, "Here's the downpayment: I don't hunt you down and terminate you upon immeadiate effect Swindle." Redshift does hope Foxfire manages not to get himself killed while trying to complete Flash's famous tricks. While watching Foxfire fall into a small black hole would be fun, he still kinda does want to get the money. Either way would be nice, really. <'Decepticon'> Redshift says, "I... Didn't say you did, Ramjet. Just saying you can't count on any of Blueshift's schemes to work." <'Decepticon'> Dreadwind says, "You can't count on anything to work, because it won't." Red Alert's sensors would detect the black hole already in place at the top of the roof of the arena. At some point, it will be lowered from the ceiling onto the nose of Foxfire! A circus aide runs up to Foxfire and places a pile of lit bombs in front of the tape. "And now!" Mr Big Top announces. "Flash will use his paws to juggle fusion bombs! And then he will expertly throw them through this high hoop into a bucket of water!" <'Decepticon'> Ramjet says, "Yes. I know. That is why I favor him so /inordinately/." <'Decepticon'> Blueshift says, "You know I'm not allowed to talk to carnival folk Redshift, I have that /restraining order/" Fire Chief's Car transforms back into robot mode. Oh, no, it's already in place! He looks up at the mini-black hole, then narrows his optics, trying to determine the mechanism for lowering the thing. <'Decepticon'> Swindle says, "Did I just hear someone talking to me? I could've sworn I heard someone talking to me." Fire Chief's Car transforms into his Red Alert mode. <'Decepticon'> Ramjet says, "Hooah-ha-ha. You have six times the ambition of any Decepticon, Sixshot. But you must restrain yourself, for I have selected Swindle from an elite group of lawyercons to handle my business affairs." <'Decepticon'> Ramjet says, "Swindle, deploy to the COSMIC CARNIVAL! You must secure the payment for Blueshift's business transaction." Grimlock pauses, and then nudges Red Alert. "You Red 'lert good at maths, right? If fusion bomb a-splode, do WE a-splode too?" <'Decepticon'> Sixshot growls somewhere, "Since he has your backing Ramjet, no promises if he doesn't get out of my line of fire though." "Ah, yes, yes, we do," Red Alert answers. When the bars disappear, the Gilashark goes a rampaging, raiding snack vendors looking for fishy-snacks. Monstereo moves on to other cages, proceeding to let free more and more alien creatures. A Denebian Slime Devil. A Nepsan Ant-Lion. A Zigzog, which is kinda like a hippo, but with feathers. "Oh. That bad." A pase, and Grimlock glares over at the ring. "YOU FOXFIRE NO DROP BOMB!" Foxfire sighs. "Juggling. Right. You still don't realize that I'm not Flash, do you?" He proceeds to attempt the act. Hopefully he won't mess up. <'Decepticon'> Ramjet says, "This is acceptable. SIXSHOT, go with SWINDLE. You will provide him with SIX TIMES the protection of any other Decepticon!" <'Decepticon'> Dreadwind says, "It won't be enough." <'Decepticon'> Sixshot says, "You're welcomed to come as cannon fodder Dreadwind." <'Decepticon'> Ramjet says, "Shush, Dreadwind. Our enemies can never know about Sixshot's SECRET SEVENTH ability." <'Decepticon'> Redshift says, "Maybe we can sell Dreadwind to the circus as the most boring robot in the universe." <'Decepticon'> Dreadwind says, "I doubt it, why would they want me any more than you do?" <'Decepticon'> Redshift says, "Good point." <'Decepticon'> Swindle says, "Sorry, I've taken today as one of my vacation days. I had it approved six weeks ago." A drum roll plays as the audience watches Foxfire with rapt attention, the fusion bombs sailing into the air as his paws throw them, but they don't explode! Not yet anyway! Meanwhile, Monstereo is obviously busy setting loose vicious carnival animals. The massive Gilashark roars, running around with its huge fangs and claws, killing and maiming carnival guests as if some sort of giant reptile shark creature. Security are going to be busy today! <'Decepticon'> Sixshot says, "If you weren't occasionally so useful Swindle..." <'Decepticon'> Swindle says, "The legally mandated word is 'often.' I am 'often' useful." "Oooh! Me Grimlock know! Him Fox guy could deefuse- wait." Grimlock glances over- and then there's a Gilashark on the rampage! Nevermind the fact that most of the fairgoers are probably jerks, Grimlock surges into action anyway! "You Red 'Lert make sure us no a-splode." he notes as an afterthought. ANd with that said, Grimlock lunges, attempting to snag the Gilashark by the tail! THAT should slow it down! Redshift is still here, hoping Foxfire blows himself up. Or doesn't. Really, he would like to see either outcome. <'Decepticon'> Sixshot says, "I'll show /you/ what legal mandate I use!" <'Decepticon'> Swindle says, "Huh. Can I speak to one of your other modes? Preferably one that understands the benefits of civil discourse?" The Gilashark continues its rampage of death and destruction, pausing to devour some more tourists, when Grimlock yanks its tail. The mighty beast lunges at him, for a clash of the titans! Or dinosaur robot vs reptile shark at any rate. Some people stop running and start taking photos Sharkticon is somehow loose at this Carnival. Nobody's sure who he came with, but he's wandering around the premises, knocking over food stands and getting into the corndogs and snowcones. His tail is covered in blue and pink strands of candy floss, which some random small carnival creature seems to be nomming on rather insistently. For now, Gnaw is too distracted by the food in front of him to notice. <'Autobot'> Monstereo says, "Distraction initiated. Building. Get ready, Freddy." <'Decepticon'> Dreadwind says, "I wouldn't go and look Swindle it'll be a gun, though i guess if you do go at least your suffering will finally end." "'Scuse me, folks," Powerglide mumbles as he begins to step on and over a bunch of audience members. "Outta the way. Comin' through. Watch out," are his half-assed warnings as he tramples small children and shoves adults out of the way. Eventually he reaches the edge of the ring and he hangs over the side; pointing and laughing at Foxfire. "HEY FOXFACE! HOWS ABOUT YOU DO SOMETHIN' THAT DOESN'T SUCK? AHAHAHA!" <'Decepticon'> Parasite says, "The afterlife is /quite/ amusing indeed." <'Decepticon'> Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder says, "Have you returned from thence?" <'Decepticon'> Parasite mmmmwas quietly. <'Decepticon'> Swindle says, "What the hell is a thence?" "YES! A VOLUNTEER" Comes the voice from on high, as aides grab Powerglide and drag the minibot into the middle of the ring to tie him to a large spinning wheel. "Flash will now dispose of the fusion bombs, and throw knives at this audience member!" "...BLINDFOLDED!" <'Decepticon'> Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder facepalms audibly. <'Autobot'> Red Alert says, "You know how to defuse fusion bombs, right, Foxfire?" "WOOO! Finally, Carnival FUN!" And so, Grimlock meets the Gilashark with a swing of one massive fist, attempting to punch it right in the nose! For, as the Worst Case Scenario: Interstellar Travel guidebook tells you, when confronted with Gilasharks, the best solution is to punch them in the face. Then again, for Grimlock, 'face punching' is a default solution anyway. He rumbles and wrassles with the otherworldly beast- and pauses, glancing over towards the ring where Foxfire 'performs.' "Oh, it just him Powerglide. It okay!" <'Decepticon'> Parasite says, "I believe it is archaic Terran, Swindle. It seems the Sweep has adopted their speech!" Red Alert transforms again, because alternate modes are inherently more sneaky than robot modes, and starts rolling for the controls that get used to lower the black hole. He slowly creeps though the crowd as a car. Creep creep creep! <'Decepticon'> Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder growls, "Archaic speech is more cultured." <'Autobot'> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Well, yeah. It's kinda part of my job." Red Alert transforms into his Fire Chief's Car mode. <'Decepticon'> Swindle says, "Oh boy. Because we definitely need more culture. You want some opera tickets? Maybe you're interested in the ballet?" <'Decepticon'> Dreadwind says, "Culture, such a waste of time, it is soon forgotten and replaced by barbarism and suffering." <'Decepticon'> Sixshot says, "That wont make a difference Swindle. Trust me." <'Decepticon'> Swindle says, "I'm not kidding, I have a boatload of these things to sell." <'Decepticon'> Parasite says, "Hm. I wouldn't speak of culture. After all -- You didn't graduate from the War Academy." "HEY BOBO!" one of the alien clowns shouts as it waves a tentacle at Red Alert's car mode. "That's the one for our act, right? Yeah? The one we all climb in and drive at the shapnel bombs?" He peers closer at the markings. "FIR CHEF?" <'Decepticon'> Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder says, "That's because the War Academy was no more when I was created." Talazia Keldahoff shakes her head as she slinks her way towards the front of the crowd. Of course, being smaller than everyone gives her a bit of leeway.....and a bit of reason to watch where she's walking. <'Decepticon'> Parasite says, "Ah... An excuse. I see." <'Decepticon'> Parasite chuckles quietly, probably behind a cape. <'Decepticon'> Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder says, "I certainly would go, or would have gone, had it been in existence." <'Decepticon'> Parasite says, "Really? You are aware there were /entrance exams/, yes?" <'Decepticon'> Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder says, "It would not surprise me." Oh, no! The Fir Chef car says nothing, but backs away from the clown and tries to drive around it. Foxfire defuses the bombs and disposes of them quickly. He sighs, then his optics widen slightly as Powerglide is chosen as a volunteer for knife-throwing. "Lovely..." He pauses a moment, then smirks. "Hope you're not afraid of knives, 'Glide!" <'Decepticon'> Parasite says, "Hm. Then your hypothetical aspirations to education are... Somewhat admirable. Too bad you shall forever be ignorant." <'Decepticon'> Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder says, "Pfffff" <'Decepticon'> Swindle says, "You want a college diploma? I know a guy." A carnival aide clears away the deadly bombs, tying a blindfold around Foxfire's head and putting an array of very very sharp knives in front of him. "Go get him Flash!" he grins <'Decepticon'> Parasite says, "Swindle, your online scam courses hardly count as an education!" Foxfire snaps, "I'm not Flash! You're lucky I didn't drop one of those bombs!" Monstereo finishes with a cage that holds an Acid-spitting alien arachnid which has had it's acid glands removed. It hisses a lot when anyone approaches, and Monstereo just reads it's plaque. "Hmm. Poor wittle thing." He breaks open a small thermometer and poors out the mercury into his palm. He then opens the cage and watches as the arachnid hops onto his face, impotently snaps at it a few times, and then scuttles down his neck and arm to his open hand to drink the liquid metal. Monstereo then places the sated creature in his chest compartment for safe keeping. "That's all folks." He looks around as animals do animal things and settles his optics on the Grimlock vs Gilashark bout. "No ear-biting!" "Hahahahahahahahhaha! Hey Foxface! Hows about you, uh..." Powerglide taps his chin. "Oh! Hows about you difuse THIS!" Powerglide turns around and wiggles his butt over the edge of the ring; chortling like a mentally troubled teenager the entire time. <'Decepticon'> Swindle says, "No scam! Well, there's a little bit of a scam, since the diplomas are phony, but that's ultimately not -your- problem." Foxfire tells himself, "Must. Not. Bite." JUST KIDDING. That happened in an alternate universe. What really happened was Powerglide beinf forcefully drug and tied to a wheel. "Woah, hey, is this the part where the sexy lady does, uh, you know..." He tries to wiggle his eyebrows but he doesn't have any so it just looks like his eyes are bulging out. "Hahahaha...ah...nice.." The Gilashark gets punched in the face by Grimlock, roars... and then hits the ground HARD. Gilashark's have glass jaws, obviously. Oh, no, wait. That's where they keep their... stuff. :( The alien clown backs away from the FIR CHEF car. "Nah Bobo, this car's driving itself. It must be Micky the Magic Car!" The wheel Powerglide is on starts spinning. Faster and faster and faster. "Hn. That easy." Grimlock muses, and nudges the Gilashark with his foot. This done, he trompatrompatromps back over towards the edge of the Arena, whereupon he surveys the act. "...Wait. Me Grimlock confused. Am him Foxfire SUPPOSED to hit guy? Or he s'posed to miss?" Micky the Magic Car gives a cheerful beep-beep (which really is an accomplisment, because lamborghinis aren't really equiped with such puny horns), then drives around Bobo the clown, heading back towards the operations area. Time for a cleaning! Sharkticon is still running through the carnival causing havoc, and he seems to have gotten into a truck that sells popcorn. He devours a popcorn machine whole, then proceeds on his way. When he reaches the Gilashark, suddenly a loud popping sound can be heard coming from his open maw. pop. pop pop. POP-POP-POP*BOOOM* Suddenly acres and acres of popcorn spew from Gnaw's mouth before he realizes what his happening. Foxfire has knives, and he's not afraid to use them! Well, okay, that last part is a lie. Lacking opposible thumbs, he is unable to actually throw them, so with his jaws he sticks them into his rocket launchers. He aims carefully...and then fires, trying hard not to hit Powerglide. Although the knives probably wouldn't do much damage, anyway. Foxfire shoots knives at Powerglide! Do the knives go in the minibot's face? We won't find out till the player returns from dinner, EXCITEMENT! Even more excitement as the drums roll and Mr Big Top announces "You've seen the KING! You've seen Rorza, the Rocket-cycle Racer from Rigel III! You've seen... uh... the GILASHARK vs DINOSAUR DAVE! Now witness FLASH THE SPACE FOX balance a black hole on his nose!" From the ceiling, a black hole, held in a loose suspension field slowly descends. It is controlled by several scientists in the backstage operation room which Micky the Magical Car is about to gatecrash! <'Decepticon'> Blueshift says, "Shhh, its the finale. Flash is going to balance a black hole on his nose. I've got front row seats!" Monstereo wanders back to watch the show. He sits and leans an elbow on his knee while resting his head in his hand. <'Decepticon'> Dreadwind says, "You're doomed, you do realise that." Grimlock stares at the black hole for a moment, and narrows his optic visor. "...that no look good." Fire Chief's Car gatecrashes the operations room, transforms, and draws his weapon, pointing it towards the scientists. "Hold it right there! Do not lower that black hole any further!" he commands. Fire Chief's Car transforms into his Red Alert mode. <'Autobot'> Red Alert says, "I... can't believe I'm saying this, but... I'm holding the scientists at gun point. If the black hole stops lowering, Foxfire, try taking over with your holograms." <'Autobot'> Coaster XO Raindance says, "And if it doesn't Red?" <'Autobot'> Coaster XO Raindance says, "If it doesn't, will I never get my autographs?" <'Autobot'> Saboteur Foxfire says, "O-okay." <'Autobot'> Red Alert says, "That is right. You'll never get your autographs." <'Autobot'> Red Alert says, "You also won't get any of the PepsiCo swag, because I won't be able to return and make sure it's safe!" Foxfire crouches slightly... The scientists throw up their hands at Red Alert. "No Mickey the Magic Car!" the lead scientist exclaims. "You would betray the carnival code! Its too late! Flash is going to have to BALANCE IT!" The black hole keeps lowering, directly at Foxfire's nose! <'Autobot'> Saboteur Foxfire says, "It's still lowering!" <'Autobot'> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Wait...I have an idea." "The only thing I care about the Carnival Code is how well its encrypted!" Red Alert answers, optics narrowed. "I /know/ about the secret messages you people have in that code. I /know/ you're talking to." Then he shakes his head, pulling himself out of his paranoid haze. "Wait. So you're saying there's no way to stop it?!" <'Autobot'> Grimlock says, "Do that then! Me Grimlock no want get sucked into 'nother dimension!" Monstereo hmms about that carnival code being only noticed when it's in this carnivals best interests. <'Autobot'> Red Alert says, "I hope so, because I don't think there's any way to stop i- damn it, I hope not, I'm starting to earn frequent vortex miles." The scientist shakes his head. "No, it is set to descend! No cheating! The only way to stop it is if Flash can balance it on his nose. But... it's Flash, of course he can!" Foxfire backs up, away from the black hole. He glances at the crowd, then back to it. He activates his hologram system and makes the hole appear to grow in size, like it's ready to engulf the entire arena if it expands much more. "It's going out of control! How did you even *get* a black hole in here?!" Grimlock grunts. "Shoot. That no good." He glances around...and then settles his optic visor on Berko. "YOU!" he decrees, stomping forward, whipping out his Energo Sword in the process. "Stop black hole thingie! Show over now!" A middle-aged couple strolling through the carnival stop and stare at the sight before them. "Dear lord, Mildred. Is that Sharkticon VOMITING popcorn?" The man looks at his own bag and shakes his head, pouring it out. "Well if it's /that/ bad..." "It's not Flash!" Red Alert exclaims, exasperated. "That's what we've been telling you all along!" Then Red Alert rubs his chin thoughtfully. "Although I half suspect that Flash may, in fact, be a clone of Foxfire..." A Blattarf from Gertwert IV scuttles across the ship landing dock floor and boards a random ship. Some little space children run to play in the popcorn mountain. The popcourn mountain held in Gnaw's mouth. Berko is back on the scene, shaking his head and looking very nervous as the black hole expands. "Don't you understand Dinosaur Dave!" he cries. "It can't be stopped! Flash has to balance it or we all die!" The scientist gasps at Red Alert. "But... if that isn't Flash, then where IS Flash?" Talazia Keldahoff facepalms as she hears the scientist. "oh brother...." Rorza, the Rocket-cycle Racer from Rigel III meanwhile, sits on his bike munching a sandwich, calmly watching the black hole. "I could jump that" he mutters to no-one in particular. <'Autobot'> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Do they believe I'm not Flash yet?" "I don't know where Flash is!" Red Alert exclaims, then narrows his optics. "Probably to no good on Earth, I can only imagine." Then he shrugs it off. "Look, there /has/ to be a way to shut it off. If the controls don't work... what if I shoot them?" <'Autobot'> Red Alert says, "Yes, but they say the machine can't be shut off." <'Autobot'> Talazia Keldahoff says, "It's like hitting Ramjet in the face with an idea." <'Autobot'> Red Alert says, "They're probably lying. Hang on." Red Alert, still holding the gun towards the scientists, approaches the controls to study them. <'Autobot'> Red Alert says, "Is there any way we could make it, I don't know, collapse in on itself?" <'Autobot'> Saboteur Foxfire says, "I don't know. Black holes aren't my specialty." <'Autobot'> Red Alert says, "Try throwing a bomb at it? We don't have much to lose now!" <'Autobot'> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Okay!" "OH MY GOD! OH GOD! WHY!? WHY!? HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?" Powerglide screams as each knife hits and impales itself deep into his body. The wheel begins to slow and as it comes to a stop, Powerglide lets himself hang limply off the wheel; a knife handle poking out of his cone. "The horror.....the horror.." One knife, however, has managed to miss him. ....And instead imaple an alien child in the face. "Shoot... the... controls! But that's what's keeping it from expanding totally!" The scientist stares at Red Alert. "Heeeeeeey I bet you're not even Mickey The Magical Car, are you!" Foxfire opens up one of his hip compartments and removes a spare bomb. "Here goes...keep yer fingers crossed!" With a paw, he manages to launch it at the black hole. Will it work? Monstereo broadcasts a view of the Carnival act in progress, a micro black hole in need of balancing. "Would the real Flash Shady please stand up? Please stand up? Please stand up?" "That it! Me Grimlock think there no problem that no be solved by explodings!" "CALL A DOCTOR!" Powerglide bellows, still strapped to the wheel. Monstereo broadcasts: Foxfire opens up one of his hip compartments and removes a spare bomb. "Here goes...keep yer fingers crossed!" With a paw, he manages to launch it at the black hole. Will it work? What does throwing a bomb at a black hole do? Nothing I'd imagine, ask Stephen Hawking. But this is no normal black hole, it is held in place by a ceiling harness for a start! Foxfire's bomb explodes, the complex machinery around the hole fizzing as it is set into reverse, the black hole shuddering and sucking inwards until... it becomes a white hole! White holes are much less dangerous, in fact, the only danger now is towards Foxfire as the White Hole lowers and attempts to zap the fox, when... As Monstereo's announcement blares out, something leaps out of the saddlebag on the bike of Rorza, the Rocket-cycle Racer from Rigel III! Something leaps in front of Foxfire and expertly balances the white hole on its nose! "Hello!" says Flash the Space Fox! "...Me Grimlock no expect that." Red Alert rubs his chin, the other hand still pointing the gun at the... carnifal... scientists. "It's what keeps it from expanding - guess I'd better not shoot it, then." Then he hears a new voice and peers outside. "Oh, hnh. I think you got your fox back." Foxfire stares. "Uh. Hello," he replies to Flash. "I'll let you take your job back..." He starts to slip off, heading toward the wheel-bound Powerglide. "Lemme get you off this thing..." The scientists rub their scientist glasses at the same time. "Wow!" they mutter. "There's two Flashes! Must be a localised phenominon of the white hole!" Sharkticon , completely oblivious to the whole scene with the Fox(es) and Holes, is scrambling madly to put all the 'escaped' popcorn back into his mouth. He vaguely resembles a freakish mutant Pac-Man as he nomnomnoms the pile. Finally he eats it all--nobody else will touch it, not even the odd rat--and then goes to drink a tub of popcorn-butter. "Two Flashes!" Berko exclaims in shock. "We only need one! This means we can give the first one back and not pay those robots!" He then winks at Grimlock. "Hey, big guy, if you ever want to be locked in a cage and pointed at as a tourist attraction, I might just have the job for you!" Grimlock stares at Berko, uncomprehending. "Uhuuuuuh. Whut?" Berko pauses, then slyly hands Grimlock a contract. "Uh, just sign here big guy, I'll tell you later...." Red Alert leaves the 'back stage' area with the carnie scientists and approaches Berko. He says, "What, you found the real Flash, I mean, another Flash? But, uhm, we're still getting paid, right?" Yes, he heard Berko's comment (he does have really good hearing), and he remembers how Berko confused Autobots and Decepticons earlier. Monstereo gives an obligatory big sigh of relief. Monstereo broadcasts some feel good 'you can all relax now' music. "Me Grimlock no sign anything@ 'specially not after me talk to him Smokescreen!" and with that, he neatly attempts to punch Berko in the face. This will solve problems! Mr Big Top recovers from his shock to annouce: "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND THINGS - TWO FLASHES!" Flash flips the white hole into the rafters using just his nose and then bows to the audience. "Ah, to think I tried to run away!" he emits. He does look an awful lot like Foxfire. He turns to Foxfire. "Now stop pretending to be me!" Berko is only a little human, and so goes down easily. And with him goes any hope of anyone getting any Quatloos at all! Red Alert covers his face with his right hand, then shouts, "Foxfire, we're getting out of here. Coming?" Foxfire frowns. "I wasn't pretending to be you. These people are just too stupid to tell the difference. I never wanted to be here, and I'd like to go home now." He bounds over to Red at the shout.